Disneyland

Went to disneyland yesterday 12/29 =) Could not believe we were going because I haven't been there for a year. Hahaha, cutestuff with the boyfryaand. Woke up at 6:30am cus I was super excited, got ready, and picked up by Tai. He forgot the address to disneyland @ home, so we went back to his place to pick it up. Then headed for disneyland, and it took about 50 mins just to get in the theme park, because of the parking line, and tram etc. It was "OUR" day, no answering phonecalls, noone else, just us. Got into a little arguement in the evening about a misunderstanding, but all is solved [: REALLY wanted to stay for the fireworks, but it got really cold and our legs started getting sore, so we headed out and chilled @ his place for a while. Fun day.

Bleh

Everytime i bring up the same topic, things start getting out of hand again. But how can i forget the past.. forgive, but never forget. Whatever, so tired of this bullshit, ain't gonna do nothing bout it no more.

Why do i do this to myself..

It only lasts for a fews days and then that certain habit comes rolling back again. Why do i let this happen..why can't i just be who i use to be..the girl that could have fun without expecting every little thing to be the way it should be. Why can't i just let things go, why do i always have to argue back just to hear the answer i want, only to reassure myself. That thing right there, is what lowers my ego and respect. I let people take advantage of me, and not treat me the way i should be treated. I fell too hard, and i can't get up no longer..

Love

Love can mean many different things, to some people it can be a four letter word that gets overused for the wrong reasons. love is truly unexplainable, it can heal even the worst pain and make you feel like the happiest person on earth. love is courage. i'm so tired of heartbreak, im tired of getting taken for granted and getting stepped on. i wanna find the one that loves me for me, someone who gets along with my family and loves them as their own. i want to find someone to show me that there is still hope, that this world isnt as horrible as it seems. i want to find that one that i can truly be myself with. a person who won't give up no matter what situation comes up. someone i can hold when it seems as if there's nothing left to hold on to and to show me what i've been missing. i want to find the one who appreciates what i do for them and is honest and truthful. i want to find someone who is r e a l..maybe i'm wishing for too much, or maybe the one thats right for me has been in front of me this whole time. i believe everything happens for a reason. show me yours. prove me wrong and make me see there is someone out there who is real.

Less dependent, more independent. Gotta do things for myself first. Good day today, mmhm